


Water

by Neocitymadness



Category: NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Almost Dying, Alternate Universe, Drowning, Friendship, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Short Story, Summer Vacation, Water, bad past, im tired of doing thi, mark has PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27504661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neocitymadness/pseuds/Neocitymadness
Summary: After months of devastation, Mark finally pulls himself together. He's grateful that his friends want to take care of him after his attempt. His friends have gotten overprotective on him thorough this month but he doesn't really care about it. It makes him feel wanted....instead this time, he hopes they don't do that.Or Mark has something going on and he doesn't want his friends to find out
Kudos: 7





	1. Raindrops

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic post on ao3. Also posted at Wattpad. please gives me constructive criticism so I can improve in future. also i already try to import this like three times but i failed and it felt like a shame.
> 
> Heyyo!! I just released a new story on Wattpad and it's not about NCT but if you want to read about crime and kidnapping you can check it out.  
> https://www.wattpad.com/986035894-escape-the-hellhound-chapter-1

He regards as the raindrops hit the window beside his bed.

After the incident that had happened, he moved out of his old room and lived with the others. He is grateful that they're willing to help him to recover after his sad incident.

Right now, he's on his bed. Before he starts to stares at the window, his mind starts to thinks back about the past. Thinking about it back makes him cry a little bit. Then it comes to a halt after rains come down. His attention suddenly goes to the raindrops that lead to now. 

The drizzle is hitting the ground modestly before he looks at it longer than the rain becomes louder than before. He can occasionally hear the thunders goes off but he doesn't get scares as much as Jisung does. His mind shifts to the sound of the raindrops and thunderbolts that are loud. 

He feels so weirdly pleased by it. his body gravitates more toward the rain outside. He can feel himself becomes one with the rainfalls. He doesn't get why he's so intrigued by the rain. It just rains anyway. He looks at the rain longer and longer. The rain outside is like calling him, wants him to notices it. He doesn't know why but to be attracted to it, to the sound of it and everything about it.

.

"Mark Hyung! What are you doing out here? In the middle of this rain?!! You're going to get sick! " Jaemin said in nagging tone. Jaemin who comes back from grocery shopping just a moment ago, shields Mark with an umbrella. Mark snaps out of the trance. He realises that Jaemin is next to him and shields him from the rain. "How and why are you outside?" Jaemin asked him again. Mark is confused. How the hell he is outside? He just in his room before this. Receiving no answer from the latter, Jaemin lets out a sigh. " Come on, let's go home." He takes Mark hand and leads him to their house. Mark follows the younger still confused about what happened.

" You don't even close the door! What if someone breaks into our house?" The younger said it with irritation. " I'm sorry." Mark keeps his head down. Jaemin can only suspire. "It's ok. Let's go inside. I will make your favourite food for dinner." Inside, Mark jumps out from happiness but he still thinks about the situation.

They enter the house with no one speaking. Jaemin goes straight to the kitchen to sorts out the groceries and prepares for dinner. " Mark Hyung, go take a shower before others come home or you'll get sick." Mark nods at the younger order and goes up the stair before taking the right turn to his bedroom.

He can see that his door room is open which beg the question ' How can he don't realise that he had been outside or even sense that he's walking?' It doesn't make any sense for him.

Mark doesn't want to keep a long time thinking about it. He wants to help Jaemin in any way since he had made the younger worried before. Just like that, he shrugs it off. He shuts the door of his room and goes straight to the shower.


	2. Bathtub

Several weeks after that scene happened, he shrugs the scene off and thinks that it's just nothing serious. He possibly already forgets about it.

Right now, he's in their house with Jisung and Chenle since 00 lines went out to their workplaces. After the incident happened, the 00 lines went to find jobs so they can afford for housing, groceries, Marks medicals fees and others stuff. Jaemin and Donghyuck work for a model agency since they have the looks people need and it do pay them well. Jeno works as an acrobatic teacher. Mark can see it since Jeno has the core strength and he also can do all of those things. Renjun works as a vocal and dance teacher in Jisung and Chenle universities near their place. When he hears that Renjun is going to be vocal teacher, he's pretty shocks. He doesn't even know that Renjun is capable of that. On top of that, Renjun also takes part as a dance teacher. Jisung and Chenle also seldom help as they work a part-time job since they're still studying in university. Chenle and Jisung are going to work in the evening. Jisung and Chenle work at a convenience store near their university. They are watching him right now. Mark is thankful for them that he feels guilty that people younger than him are doing this for him. They assure him that they're okay and they wanted to help him. Mark hates being helpless and, so he promised them that he would clean the house and repay them. They agree to it but, he doesn't have to repay them but instead pay for the bills.

Now, the three of them are eating lunches that Chenle cooks. Watching Chenle, he feels upset that he's so useless because of peoples two-year younger than him the one that cook since he can't cook at all often buying take-out back then.

At the moment that he feels upset, he suddenly wants to take a shower. He doesn't know why because it's so sudden but, he just, pry it off thinking that he wants to calm himself. " I will take a bath after this." He said to Chenle and Jisung after he has finished washing dishes. " Okay! " They replied from the living room. He chuckled at their jinx before goes upstairs and heads toward his bathroom.

He enters it and proceeds to open the faucet of the bathtub. He's waiting for it to fill up so he can put a bath bomb into it to make bubbles. Suddenly, it strikes him. . It's like the same feeling he had before. He can't seem to stop looking away from the bath as water runs through inside the tub. The water is like haunting him but, at the same time, it's want to comfort him from everything that had happened. Including his past. " Hyung! The bathtub is overflowing!" He comes back to his sense after someone shouts at him. He realises that Jisung is in front of the door to his bathroom. "Hyung! Your bathtub!" He quickly shifts to his bathtub and turns off the faucet after grasping the situation that's happening. "Oh my god...thanks Jisung for alerting me." He said to Jisung. "No problem, Hyung." Mark takes off the plug and lets the water drain into his liking. " By the way, what are you doing here? " he asked Jisung. "Oh...we are about to head out and Chenle told me to inform you. Also, the other hyung will not come home until late at night since they have a long schedule today. Jaemin hyung ask me to tell you this. He said that you have to eat and wash clothes. He said that if you don't eat tonight, he will punish you? Don't even ask. I don't want to know what in his mind." Jisung said in disgust (even though, that's not what Jaemin mean). Mark laughed at Jisung reaction and Jaemin antics for acting like a mom. "Ok ok. I will do it" Mark replied. 

Then, their head turns toward the voice " Park Jisung! What makes you so long?!!" We need to go now!! " Chenle shout from downstairs. " I'm coming, big head!" Jisung replied making Mark laughs out loud at Chenle nickname Jisung give him. " I will go now. Bye hyung" Mark put the plug in his bathtub back and reply. "Okay. See you tomorrow, Jisung." He ruffles the youngest hair and Jisung just scrunch his nose, dislike what Mark does. After that, Jisung leaves. 

Mark smiles at Jisung who just leaves. He continues to put a bath bomb scented watermelon into the tub to increases the summer vibe. After that, he strips and dips himself into the tub. He wanders about the situation that just happened. He doesn't get about the situation before. He tries to wraps about that incident inside him. Getting no conclusions, he dismisses it.


	3. Sink

It's been like a month since the second time it had happened. Because of that, Mark starts to get it more during this month. Slowly, he's getting a pattern of these unusual events and behaviours. This event will happen whenever Mark gets antsy, sad, unhappy, guilty or having bad feelings. He also acquires the events to starts whenever he reminded of his past. After that, Mark feels like doing involving water. At that time, the water will run down and, it seems like the world around him don't exist. His only attention will shift towards the aqua.

One time, he volunteered to wash the dishes even though he's tired of doing chores around the house. He picks up all the plates and brings them to the sink. He twists the faucet. Picking up a liquid dishwasher, he puts it on top of a sponge and starts to wash them. He was doing his job but halfway doing it, Mark's attention switched to the water that was running down hitting his hand softly but still harsh. He dropped the plate and sponge that was on his hand into the sink. He literally stopped doing his job. The water that was running down somehow gives him some remote sense of comforts. It was like giving him a pat on the back. Apart from the feeling of comfort, it also exists a sense of danger lying underneath it like the person who comforts him is a killer.

While he's lost in thought, Renjun comes into the kitchen to grab some snacks. He looks over his shoulder to finds Mark is standing still doing nothing. He turns around to faced Mark. There's a confusion written all over Renjun face. Renjun moves his feet toward the older. He touches Mark's shoulder only to gets him jerked forward in surprise.

Mark heaves out a heavy breath. He didn't realise that he's been holding his breath for some times. Meanwhile, Renjun looks at him with a weird and concern face.

"Hyung..are you okay?" Renjun asked him. "Umm....yeah..I'm fine," Mark replied, not sounding too sure himself. " Are you sure? Your face looks pale. Do you want to go to the clinic?" Renjun asked him again to assure himself. "No, it's okay. I'm fine". Mark said to affirms Renjun even if himself not too sure about it. "Really??" Renjun asked him once again like he's telling Mark, not to lies. "I'm fine, Renjun. I'm just tired. That's all."

He said this time with irritation and force. "Are you sure you're all right? I can-" Mark cuts off his word, " Renjun! I'm fine! Stop worrying about this!" Renjun shuts his mouth upon hearing the older raised his voice which is a rare occurrence.

Honestly, he's tired about this situation. He has to deal with Renjun makes him more tired. Meanwhile, Renjun knowing that he can't ask more to Mark, sighs. "Well, if you insist. If you are not well, talk to us. We're here for you." He said. "Thanks for that but I'm okay. I'm just tired." "Well then, take a rest first. Let me washes the dishes for you." Renjun said, offering to do his job. "Thanks, Renjun," Mark said. He knows that there's no point in doing it if they both going to end up arguing again. Maybe Renjun should ask more, not letting Mark go.

Mark leaves the kitchen and heads upstairs. He opens his door room and closes it after entering his room. Mark jumps into his bed, feeling the comfiness of it. In a second, he's already sleeping on the soft and comfy bed.

The next day, he finds them doing chores to let him rest. He doesn't think the word 'thank you' is enough to express his gratitude.

Because of what they always did for him, he doesn't want to tell them about his problems. He doesn't want to burden them with his problems. His friends already have many things on their shoulder to carry after his past. Also, he never wants to admit this but, he's scared. He's scared that he becomes too much burden for them until finally, they left him again. He doesn't want that scene to happen. He already loses them due to his fault. He will not lose the family he cherishes so much this time.


	4. Vacation

"Let's go on vacation!" Donghyuck mused out of nowhere. " It's been a long time since we started working. We rarely meet even though we live in the same house. Let's enjoy our time together!" Donghyuck said clearly excited about going on a vacation. The others instantly agree to his idea. Donghyuck is right after all. They rarely hang out because they're busy with their works and studies.

That night, they pack their stuff like clothes, flip flops and other essential stuff. Jaemin will bring his camera alongside so he can 'capture the moments' as he said. They even sleep early that night.

They're so excited about the trip they immediately get up when Jaemin wakes them up. They pack up some stuff to bring on the way and, off they go to the beach.

When they arrived at the beach, they immediately get greeted by a windy breeze that attacked their face. " It's so beautiful." Mark praised the beauty of the sea at the beach. " It is," Jeno replied. Without wasting time, they go inside the resort to check-in. Mark and Jeno with Renjun and Donghyuck stay in a separate twin room on 5th floor. While, the maknaes which consist of Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung stay in Deluxe room on the 6th floor just one level above the hyungs. The resort is 4-star so, the rooms are a bit comfy, spacious it's facing the beach. In other words, the boys are satisfied with Donghyuck pick on accommodation.

Since it's evening, they decide to take a rest and do their itinerary tomorrow. Tonight, the boys will eat at the restaurant inside the resort. Jeno had informed Mark to get ready for dinner and, so he heads to the shower. After that, Mark and Jeno go to the restaurant and find the others already arrived.

That night, they keep chatting and talking about life and some sort. Mark feels a little bit left out on some occasion since he hasn't found any job but, the working ones try to include him in their conversation like " Mark hyung, you should join modelling. It's fun and they need people like you." Jaemin said or "My university in need of a teacher in the music management department. You used to write lyrics back then maybe you should consider it." Renjun said. " I will think about it." He replied to them, smiling.

Time passes by and, without they realise it was already late. Mark excuses himself to go to the toilet first before they return to their room. After he finishes his business, he exits the restroom and goes back to their table. On the way, someone bumps into his shoulder and left without apologising. It makes him a bit annoyed, but he shrugs it off because he doesn't want to ruin the mood.

Nearing the table, he hears Renjun said " Ahhhh...it's so good to have a day off sometimes. My body is getting stiff for teaching those kids." Jeno follows suit with Renjun statement. "Same. My back hurts a bit for teaching acrobatics." " Maybe you guys should make a reservation at the spa for tomorrow," Jisung said, giving them an idea. " That would be great.". Hearing the conversations make him sad and guilty. He can't help but think that he's the one is wrong here because of him the younger gets tired. He shakes it off and takes a breath before walking back to them from his hiding spot.

Once Jeno sees him, he calls Mark out. Mark replied and, finally, they leave the restaurant. Mark follows them from behind. Then, he gets a scent from the pool that is being separated by a glass wall. It's like a reset. His surrounding is empty and, he can't hear anything. Not even his friends call. He only focuses on the pool. He wants to jump into the pool.

"....ung....ung.....hyung.....hyung!" someone shakes his body and, it makes him come back from the trance. It turns out to be Donghyuck with Jeno following from behind. " Why are you standing here?" Donghyuck asked him. He looks around and sees that he's near the pool. How the heck did he gets here? " Ahhhh.....ummm, I think I see something outside." He lied to them. " But there's nothing outside," Jeno said as in a matter of fact. He closes and opens his mouth a few times try to find excuses. "Maybe I'm mistaken," Mark said. " Really? Why you don't answer us when we call out to you?" It's suddenly turned to interrogation session where Jeno and Donghyuck are the police while Mark is the suspects. The nerve-wracking. " I probably didn't hear that," Mark said, letting out a breathy laugh because he's nervous as hell. Jeno can see that Mark's hand is shaking and he try to avoid Donghyuck gaze. " We call you many times. You like standing there for 5 minutes max" Donghyuck continues. Mark clasp his hand together and lick his lip because of the dryness. " I'm sorry for making you guys wait. I didn't realise it." He continued to lie to them. He keeps thinking about it many times too. " It's ok, hyung but are you feeling well?" Jeno asked him this time. His eyes wander around for a second before he answers. "Yeah....I'm fine." Actually, he doesn't know. " Well, let's return to our room. I'm kinda tired." Mark said to changes the topic. Without waiting for the two of them, he left first not realising the concern in Jeno and Donghyuck face. "Something is definitely wrong," Donghyuck said to Jeno in a whisper. " Maybe he's just space out," Jeno reassure Donghyuck. " Maybe but can you keep an eye on him?" "Sure."

Back in their room, Mark is laying on the bed because Jeno is in the toilet. He keeps thinking about the scene. They almost find out about his secret. He turns to face the wall when Jeno exits the bathroom. Jeno sits on his bed with a towel around his neck as water drips from his hair. " Hyung?" Jeno calls him. "Yeah" Mark answers with a groggy voice. " Are you sure you're ok? You can rest inside if you're not." Mark turn back "It's ok, Jeno. Besides, I don't want to miss out anything. Now, go to sleep. It's late." Jeno lay down on his bed. "Goodnight, hyung." Jeno said in a sleepy tone. " Goodnight, Jeno." The other reason is he thinks that's if he's alone in the hotel room, something bound to happen and he doesn't want that. In the end, he falls asleep.


	5. Nightmare

In one week, they have spent times together to explore the city. Tomorrow they will go back to their life so today they spend their time to play around the beach together until the fullest of it. They're going to miss all of this after the vacation end. It was so fun except happiness doesn't last long.

Before going back to the resort, Jaemin tells them to pose so he can take one last picture with the beach. They follow his word and pose with sun begin to set. After that, they proceed to walk back to the resort.

When the night comes, they're peacefully sleeping in their bed without interruption except for one. " Shut up!" The loud voice echoes in his head. " Let me go!" The voice continued. " What is this?" He finds himself asking. He looks around his surroundings and sees a room that was trash around. The table scattered with a lot of book on top of it. The bed is messy with, a pool of blood. 'Where the heck am I?' He thought. Out of nowhere, his friends come inside with frantic look on their face. He turns his head to see where they head. Then, it hit him. It was the incident.

"It's hurt! It's hurt like hell!" He sees that the past him is getting hurt. That scene makes him starts to lose his breath. It was suffocating him. He drops and shakes violently. His body becomes numb plus his eyes become blurry. He can't take anymore as his memory starts to fade.

Then, he's in another place. It's all black around him. He feels like he could die at anytime soon because oxygen around him begin to dissipates. He breathes in and out countless of time while clutching his shirt and try to call anyone to help him with tears flowing down his face.

Like a miracle, he hears a shoe clanking on the ground. It's coming straight to him. He tries to lift his head to see the owner of the sound. It's Jeno. Jeno comes closer to him and squats down, looking at him helplessly. " Jeno." He said in a whispering tone. Jeno smirks at him. " How does it feel to survives death?" Jeno asked with vicious.' What does Jeno mean by that?' He thought. He's speechless with that question. Moreover, he finds it's hard to answer.

Jeno cups his face harshly making him looks up to his wicked face. " I wonder how you still survived? Heck, why do I even helps you?" Jeno continued and, he laughs like a maniac.

Then, he stops. His expression becomes harder. He stares at Mark like he wants to pierce the life out of him. " After you released from the hospital, everyone has a hard time. We have to take care of you to make sure you didn't turn into your habits. What are you? A baby?" Jeno scoffs. " Mark Lee, you're a burden to us." That word hurts him deep inside. He's definitely upset by Jeno piercing statement.

Before he can say something to defend himself which practically impossible, Jeno cut him off. " Didn't you want to kill yourself back then?" He's stupefy hearing that. " Let me help you with that favour." Out of nowhere, a knife appears on Jeno right hand.

He's not prepared to die. He wants to spend more times with his group to make up the time he missed. Amidst that, Jeno gets closer to him. Jeno smirks at his pathetic face. Mark violently shakes his head, praying inside that he will wake up right now.

Jeno brings the knife closer and closer until...

"NO!!" He gets up and frantically breathing to catch up on the air that he lost inside his dream. He checks his body to see if there's any blood or anything. He heaves out a relief breath.

He looks around his surrounding to make sure that he's in reality now. Thankfully he is with Jeno peacefully sleep on his bed next to him. So, he lay back down, trying to sleep. One tick, two tick and three tick later, he opens his eye. He can't sleep because he keeps thinking about the same scene and it becomes worse because Jeno is in the same room as him.

With that, he gets up and takes a look at Jeno who is still sleeping. He gets up from his bed slowly and heads toward the door. Once in a while, he turns around to make sure that Jeno is still sleeping. He wears his shoes and runs out of his room leaving Jeno inside.


	6. Missing

Jeno wakes up just a few minutes after Mark left. He tries to close his eye and goes back to sleep but it seems like the world doesn't let him. After tossing and turning a few times, he eventually gives up. He gets up and ruffles his hair in annoyance. 

He turns his head to the nightstand so he can grab his glasses. His plan for tonight to watches movies to get tired is interrupted when he sees that Mark's bed is empty.

He called out Mark just to see if he's in the bathroom. "Mark hyung!" No answer. He tries it again in case Mark didn't hear him. "Mark hyung!" He said, this time louder than before. Once again, there's no answer.

He instantly gets worried and scared. He gets out of bed and heads to the bathroom with the feelings stirs up inside him. He knocks on the door. Unfortunately, there's no answer. His only option now is to turn the knob so the door will be open. He takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut before turn the knob. 

Click. The door is open and one of his nightmares turn out to be real. "S**t!". Mark Lee is missing.

He rushed to wears his jacket and shoe. He takes the keycard of the room and leaves the room. His destination is the nearest room of his friends. While that, he takes out his phone from his pocket and opens the phone app to call Jaemin who is sleeping.

One beep. Two beeps.

"Why are you calling me in the middle of the night? It's like.....3 a.m" Jaemin said in groggy voice indicated that he just wakes up. "I'm sorry but can you get the kids up and go to Renjun and Hyuck room?" He said in rushing. "Why?" His best friend asked. "I will explain later but please be fast" " Okk. We will be there in 10 minutes depending on how long they're gonna take to get up" "Whatever. Just get there faster"

Once he arrives at Renhyuck room, he knocks on the door countless time like his life is depends on it. "STOP!" He hears one of them screams out and abruptly stop what he was doing. He hears the doorknob turn from inside. "What?!" Donghyuck said with grogginess and anger. "I'm sorry but we have to talk like right now," Jeno said. "Can it wait until morning?" Donghyuck asked him. "No. It's important". Donghyuck sigh before nod.

After a while, all of them have arrived and in the state of half asleep. "Why do you ask us to meet here in the middle of the morning?" Renjun asked in annoyance. Before Jeno can speak, Chenle cuts him off. "Where's Mark hyung?" Chenle asked after noticing one of them is missing. "Yeah..that's why I called," Jeno said, panic.

Their eyes blink for a second before all hell breaks loose. 

"OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MARK HYUNG?" Chenle said again but this time with his dolphin voice. "Jeno! How can you lost Mark?!" Renjun said in disbelieve. "I'm sorry but he was already gone when I wake up!" Jeno said in defence. " What if something bad happens to him? What if he gets kidnapped or worse get killed? What if-" Renjun is cut off by Jaemin. "OK! Everyone stop!"

The crowd in the room become silent. "Thank you" Jaemin sighs out. " He probably wants to get some air" Donghyuck mused. "Yeah" Jaemin agreed to it. "I know that but I can shake off a bad feeling beside who do that on 3 a.m?" Jeno asked in curiousness. "Him?" Jaemin answered not pretty sure himself.

While the 00 lines are comforting Jeno and debating where's the hell Mark is, Jisung looks out the balcony to see if the eldest is out at the beach. Then, he sees a body walking alone at the beach. He wondered who would walk alone in the middle of the night until he realises it. "Isn't that Mark hyung?" He said aloud. The hyungs heads turn to him and they walk toward Jisung. Before someone process, the scene, all of them already head toward the door and leave the room.


	7. Save

Mark feels the cold and windy breeze hitting him. He walks through a road where a lot of stalls originated at though it was closed because it's a middle of the night. Thankfully, there are lamp posts situated alongside the quiet road making it easier for him to sees.

The dream never really left him. It keeps lingering inside his mind. Jeno wanting to kills him in his nightmare makes him question twice if Jeno is really the person he knows since his childhood. Though his heart knows deep inside it's not real, his brain can't comprehend it. Saying Jeno is not your friend and even panicking. Simply said, it's wrecked.

In the moment of craziness, Mark glances at the wide beach glistening under the moonlight. It's beautiful, he thought. The sea waves calming him like some sort of magic was cast on him. His heartbeat drops and his brain and mind no longer taking care of the dream. It's just him and the sea.

He has a sudden feeling to get close to the slow-paced sea. Beautiful and calming like this, how come he doesn't want to get closer to it. He has to take a chance.

The sea has really attracted him to the point he can't feel anything around him. He doesn't even detect the coldness around the air. Doesn't realise how many steps he had taken. The only thing in his mind is 'get to the sea. Now.' Somehow, the comfort feeling the sea provided him is strong enough to mask the underlying dangerous sense to it.

He takes a step and another one and another one until the damp surface of the sand washes off his feet. Without knowing, he has entered the sea domain. Ease surges right up inside him. For a long time, he is relaxed like crazy.

He wants to ease more. He goes further away. The water is filling up his shoes and soon enough his leg. Then, his waist. His proportion slowly disappears into the cold water. He loves every moment of it. He doesn't want to let go. Not when it feels this nice. He hopes it never ends and continues forever.

In a split moment, his body is submerged into the sea. The sensation of your loved warmth makes him want to stay like a stubborn kid. He keeps thinking 'Please let me enjoy it longer'. Too bad, not everything last.

His mind that comes into sense, perceives his action as wrong and starts to send a warning. He realises it after water rushing into his mouth and nose. He flails his hand to get to the top but it only makes him fell deeper. He is in full panic mode, realising what he does will not help him at all.

'Save me.' His tears emerged with the water. He no longer can't breaths as water that rushes inside him filling up his lung. Maybe the sea is really dangerous places to go to. His eye shuts and in silence, he gives the sea permission to takes his lifeless body.

................................................................................................................................................................

A few seconds later, Mark lifeless body makes contact with the same cold air. His chest is taking hits. The hits force out the salty water to leave his lung so he can breathe more air. It seems to work when Mark choked some water out and takes a huge breath to stabilise himself. 

He hugs himself because of the coldness. The first thing he sees is a cute doe eye that belongs to Jeno. He struts backwards to someone behind him and cowers himself. Jeno who does not understand Marks action is taken back.

"Hyung. Are you okay?" The person behind him, Jaemin ask with concern. "I-" He coughs some water out. "I don't know," he said with croak voice. Jaemin sighs and asks Chenle for Marks jacket. Chenle lends it to him. He covers Marks shivering body with the jacket. Renjun and Donghyuck pull him up and help him to walks back to the hotel.


	8. Truth

Inside Mark and Jeno room, Mark with help from Donghyuck and Renjun sits on the bed. Jeno turns off the air conditioner of the room so Mark will not catch hypothermia or cold or any other diseases. Since Mark is shaken up by the unfortunate events, Jaemin makes a hot tea to calm him down.

A few moments later, they gathered around the oldest to talks about his unusual occurrences. " How did you get drown? Why are you even went outside before? With no jacket or something to warm you up...you know it's cold at night, right?" His best friend, Donghyuck question/nags at him. It's understandable to do that seeing that his best friend almost died the second time. Mark keeps quiet. He doesn't dare to look at his group of friend, scared that he had disappointed them. 

Donghyuck tries not to flare up because of the unresponsive Mark. He asks him again. "Why are you outside?" Mark is still stubborn. He wouldn't budge to move even an inch.

Sick of his best friend not saying anything, Donghyuck lashes out on him. "ANSWER ME!" At last, he flinched due to Donghyuck raising his voice on him. Renjun puts a hand on his shoulder indicating fo him to stop before he goes over his temper. Donghyuk let out a defeated sigh and lets his short friend takes control.

"Hyung....you know that we are here for you, right?" Renjun said with his sweet and calming voice which is rarely heard of. "We told you that we will help you no matter what, right?" He squats down to reaches Mark level, looking at his older friend pained expression. "Aren't we friends?" With that last stretch, Mark's eyes contact with Renjun. He passes him a fond and small smile. Sure, it uses a bit of manipulation but it works and they finally can help lift the burden on his shoulder. 

"Can you please tell us why you did that?" Renjun asks like talking to a lost child. "I-I had a nightmare," he said looking up to their faces. "Firstly, it's about the incident then...." He sniffs, not ready to say it but looking at his friend's face who is not forcing him to fasten up gives him the courage to continues.

He glances at Jeno " Jeno was there" Hearing Mark statement makes Jeno eyes gone wide. " H-he tries to kill me. I wake up. It was...... unbearable to sit in a room..... with Jeno and so, I panicked...... and run out from our room"

"Wait," Jaemin said out of sudden, gaining himself attention from others. "How did this related to you drowning in the sea. If you had a nightmare and wanted to let that memory out, I get it but going into the sea? That's madness" Jaemin said in confusion. If pulled out the line of the event lead to now, it just doesn't make sense. He is eager to know why.

Mark play with his finger. His mind racing, trying to pick up some sense left. He admits not knowing how to explains all the thing happening for the past month. His mouth seems heavy to move. Jaemin surely notices this. He got up to Mark and sits next to him. Later on, he finds himself rubbing his old friend back. This is shown to gives him another type of calming sense of which he needs from the beginning of the story.

Mark glances at him. His eye a bit watery and he receives yet another reassuring smile from Jaemin after Renjun. " If you can't say it all at once, you can explain one by one. We got a whole night." The next he says it, Mark let a drop of tear down.

"It's- it's hard to say...." He said for a starter. "It's calling me. The sea" This obviously gives them a confused expression. "What?" Jisung blurted out after being in silence the whole time. "The sea is calling out to me and when I realise, I already being swallowed by the water," Mark said, explaining to them most simply. " You meant to tell me that you don't realise you waltz into them?" "Yes. I never recognize what I was doing until I'm being interrupted. All this time" Donghyuck shot him a look. "All this time?" Mark breath turn sharp. "......yes" "As in this type of incident had happened to you before?" He nods to the question.

Donghyuck ruffles his hair in anger. " Why didn't you tell us before?!" "Donghyuck" Jaemin said in his low voice giving him another warning. He groaned. "I'm sorry," Mark said, apologising after listening to Donghyuck reaction. "It's ok,hyung. Not everyone can say what burden them that easy. You tried to open up and we grateful for that" All of them except Mark nod. Even the annoyed Donghyuck.

"Can you tell us when it started?" "Ummm.....The day I was being rained on. It's about a month ago" "A month ago? That was quite long" Jaemin said, quite impressed for a moment but still carried out his duty. The others too were shocked. They don't realise that their friend has been like this for what considered a long time. 

"Do you know what makes it happened? Your trigger?" " I guess it happened when I'm not in the mood or having bad thought and recently, nightmare..... This is getting worse!" He said to himself in disbelieve. They also discreetly agree to his word. It is indeed getting worse. This time, Jaemin in remorse asks him "Like Donghyuck say, why didn't you told us anything about it?"

His mouth gets dry hearing Jaemin question. He reaches out to his cup of tea left alone on the tables. He drinks it one shot and puts it back. " I don't want to trouble you guys. You guys have many things on the plate now. I don't want this to affect you guys work." He said, avoiding to see eyes to eyes. " I'm scared that yall will leave me because I'm being too much of a hassle." 

His friends ask him to look up but he refused to move once again. "Mark Lee, you never was a burden or hassle to us." His best friend said in a comforting way. "We did this because we felt guilty that you suffered. We were never there when you need us the most. Because of that event, we promised that we will fix back our broken relationship, right? How can we do it if you don't trust us?" "But I'm the guilty one! As the eldest, I should find work but you guys did it for me and I stayed jobless, relying on others." Mark said what's in his deepest heart. "Hyung. Sooner or later, we have to get a job. We all become adults. Plus, if we don't we probably are homeless by this point. You've changed us."

Donghyuck hugs him "We volunteer to do this so we can have time back with you after you're gone from our life for five years." No more words, they all start piling and form a group hug. At that moment, he is truly blessed by them that he burst into tears.


	9. Ending

After last night incident, they end their vacation like scheduled. Renjun suggests Mark visit psychiatrist for his own good. Mark deliberately agree to do so.

Jaemin, the only who doesn't have work for that day follows him. After checking in the psychiatric, they wait until his name gets called. Nevertheless, Mark is scared to see the doctor. He keeps fidgeting like crazy. in the end, Jaemin has to buy him some food to calm him down.

When Mark name gets called by the nurse, Jaemin asks him if he wants to have him as support. Shockingly, Mark says no to his invitation. Jaemin doesn't know if he should be proud or scared but he still respects the decision.

After finishing check upon him, they declare that he is suffering from PTSD otherwise known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He indeed has things like this due to remembering back his old trauma, having a bad thought and bad mood. So, the doctor advises him to talks to someone when he continuously having all of the three things happening. It might save his life again.

............................................................................................................................................................

After 6 months or so, Mark begins to live healthily. The journey isn't that easy. He goes through a lot just to get where he is right now. Sometimes, the thought of them not loving him comes back but he tries to talks to them how he feels and they will listen to his blabbering. At least, it'll relieve him. Right now, he doesn't have that feeling.

They, on the other hand, know that Mark too can't stay like this until the end. So, to distracts his mind having another intrusive thought, Renjun offered him a job at the music department of the university he works at. He happily applies to the job. Now, he is a producer and lyricist. He gets the offers after someone hears his work and fonds of it.

In the end, they live happily ever after....... or not. No one knows if it going to happen again in the future. What we know is Mark is thankful for all of the support his friend gives him even after not talking to them for 5 years. We also know that is not easy for someone to open up about something. No matter how small or big the things they went through. So, if you have someone suffering through this, please talk to them or if they don't want it, at least listens to what they want to say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this story, I realise that I don't know what's wrong with him like I know he has problem but what was it????? Then I did my research and it turns out he has ptsd. Once again, thank you for reading my story.


End file.
